my friend... I love you

when I think about how comfortable I am with you, how comfortable I've always been, it makes everything feel so right! I don't have to pretend that I'm nicer or sweeter, I'm just whatever I am and you like me that way. and even though we never really said anything it had always felt to me like there's this unspoken bond between the two of us. I've known you since forever, and I know I see you once every 3 years but everytime I see you and spend time with you it's like we've been together the whole time... it feels beautiful to be around you. I can never explain it, I can be with you all the time and it's like we never run out of things to say, even if we do, it feels so comforting just to be with you in the same room and say nothing...
you'll never know this, but I've always wanted someone like you, most of all someone I could be comfortable with the same way I am with you. believe me you'd make a perfect husband, and a great father. you're just amazing!
you don't know that you're the reason I'm with him now, because he makes me feel the way you do, I can be myself with him and not worry about it, he understands me, like you do ( and letely he knows more about me because he's obviously more in my life) the only difference between you two (apart from the fact that he turns me on just by looking at him, while you (no offence) could be lying next to me in bed and we would be perfectly comforable with it..lol) is that he makes his feelings very clear to me. he tells me he loves me, he tells me I'm beautiful, he tells me that I'm his best friend. unlike you and me my friend, our relationship is not unspoken of. sometimes I think if we had ever (at one point of our lives) discussed our feelings for each other in any way other than the occasional pat on the back and the shoulder to cry on, things might have been different, don't you think? sometimes I think that I would have willingly given it all to you had you shown me a single sign. I did love you at a time, you never knew that, you never will...
he was not yet in my life, he is now. and I guess that changes everything.
one thing will never change though, is the special place you have in my heart, no one will ever take that place. there's no one else on earth that I could share the magic we have with... I love you so much, I really wish I could say it to you...