insomnia!
I haven't thought about my blog's name in a while, I'd been sleeping very well for the past month. but today I found myself lying awake in bed, like the old days, with nothing but the computer screen in front of me, I found it compulsive to come and talk out the nothingness in my head!
life has been going well for me lately, apart from uni which I'm not at all taking seriously this year, every other thing in my life seems to be going fine. I fixed my problems with my boyfriend, I calmed the storms with me and my mother, I go out a lot, I work out whenever I want, I'm gaining a little weight (ramadan w keda) and I'm still throwing up but it's all manageable! I can't complain. I got my period twice this month so I hadn't really had much of a chance to bond with God, but I'm planning when it's over I'm gonna be good, insha2allah...
I've been thinking about some other stuff as well...
my sister has been nagging my mother like crazy for the past two weeks to let her see a psychiatrist, she's sociophobic (NOT antisocial!) she loves people, and she loves hanging out with them but she gets scared in gatherings, she gets tongue-tied and absolutely terrified, and it's been causing her hell lately. she didn't complain at first (and we thought she didn't mind ) because she was in school with the rputaion of the quiet girl who doesn't like talking to anyone, you talk to her and she'll look the other direction and you'll get the impression that she doesn't even hear you...(how painful is that?) well, I guess she found it easier to tolerate that reputaion thatn to try and talk poeple out of it or make a couple of friends and prove them wrong!
but now that she's been in uni a couple of years, she still doesn't have any friends, only a couple, but she doesn't go out with them and she doesn't talk to them on the phone, nothing (so do you really call them friends???)
it's a lot more complicated than that, but I'm too sleepy to get into more details, which I might do if I have the chance later...
I'll try to sleep now
I have uni tomorrow at 8, this is so not right!
life has been going well for me lately, apart from uni which I'm not at all taking seriously this year, every other thing in my life seems to be going fine. I fixed my problems with my boyfriend, I calmed the storms with me and my mother, I go out a lot, I work out whenever I want, I'm gaining a little weight (ramadan w keda) and I'm still throwing up but it's all manageable! I can't complain. I got my period twice this month so I hadn't really had much of a chance to bond with God, but I'm planning when it's over I'm gonna be good, insha2allah...
I've been thinking about some other stuff as well...
my sister has been nagging my mother like crazy for the past two weeks to let her see a psychiatrist, she's sociophobic (NOT antisocial!) she loves people, and she loves hanging out with them but she gets scared in gatherings, she gets tongue-tied and absolutely terrified, and it's been causing her hell lately. she didn't complain at first (and we thought she didn't mind ) because she was in school with the rputaion of the quiet girl who doesn't like talking to anyone, you talk to her and she'll look the other direction and you'll get the impression that she doesn't even hear you...(how painful is that?) well, I guess she found it easier to tolerate that reputaion thatn to try and talk poeple out of it or make a couple of friends and prove them wrong!
but now that she's been in uni a couple of years, she still doesn't have any friends, only a couple, but she doesn't go out with them and she doesn't talk to them on the phone, nothing (so do you really call them friends???)
it's a lot more complicated than that, but I'm too sleepy to get into more details, which I might do if I have the chance later...
I'll try to sleep now
I have uni tomorrow at 8, this is so not right!
posted by gracefu( failure @ 4:25 PM
4 Comments:
At 5:25 AM,
Elsede3' said…
glad that everything is okay, we yarab 3ala tool keda...
one of the rare times to see u satisfied with wat u have :P
bout ur sister, i've always been sociophobic...there are still glimpses of that appearing from time to time, but i think i got over it...all it took was forcing myself into the crowd, okay, i dnt have to talk but at least listen...then y dnt i just return the questions??? then u find out that u're becoming more social...um saying more 3shan bardo lessa ana mesh social awy and i like the way i am...i actually have issues with people being too friendly or Mr, and Miss um-so-damn-friendly-that-u'll-feel-like-choking-wen-um-around
At 12:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
kol sana wenty tayyba , dear!
good to know you're doing better ,,and everything is undercontrol alhamdulelah
hmm..your sis..I dunno..try to get her started with a friend or too..go out in a small group or so..someone who has the same interests!
wana shayfa en el zameel elsede3 2ayel list nasye7 gamdeen bardo :P
Good luck with your studies..w kolna laha :D
At 1:47 PM,
gracefu( failure said…
thanks you guys, like I said, mawdoo3 my sis is complicated and there's some more to it than what I said, whenever I get the chance I'll talk about it
I used to be sociophobic myself, but I got over it. and I gave up a lot with it... but never mind .. I'll talk about that later as well
At 7:36 AM,
hurricane_x said…
gr8 to know that u r better now :)
hope u keep it up.
well, I fear the crowd... actually I hate the crowd :)), though I act and react normally.
concerning ur sis ...consulting a psychiatrist is a good idea, especially with some training. Maybe she needs a confidence boost.
Hope she gets better.
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