feeling bad

I was never suicidal,never in my life!
today I found myself thinking that it wouldn't be such a bad idea if a car run me over while I was crossing the street, or if I realized that it wasn't water I was drinking but cleansing solution. today I found myself not only unafraid of the idea of death, but actually welcoming it!!!
I'm scaring myself now
I've been depressed badly for the past few days, for logcal and illogical reasons. but all I can say is that I have been feeling very alone, resenting any kind of human company! I'm still feeling that way.
I don't feel like writing anymore.
I might go to sleep now. tomorrow, I might feel different (that's what I've been telling myself for the past week) or I might not wake up at all!